The more I read, the harder I am to impress, and it takes an outstanding book these days to truly shake me into submission. Admittedly, a kinky, sports-flavoured romance penned by one of my favourite writers of late is not a far-fetched bet, yet I never expected to become so infatuated and utterly consumed by this story to the point of re-reading it over and over again in a matter of weeks. Ali Hazelwood continues to bring complex, STEMinist heroines to life with unmatched precision and attention to detail, celebrating their resilience and drive to succeed as well as their softer, more vulnerable parts. And this time around, she does it by deep-diving into the gruelling world of competitive water sports, with the story of two college athletes with something very unexpected in common.
“You’re not good at hiding anything, Scarlett. I could tell when you didn’t know I existed, and I could tell when you became aware of me.”
Once a straight-A student athlete with a fifteen-year plan, twenty-one-year-old Scarlett Vandermeer is barely keeping her head above water lately. She might have physically recovered from an injury that almost ended her promising diving career, but her crippling fear of failure and of letting people down now continues to hold her back from achieving excellence in most of her efforts. Just when she begins to believe she would never get over her mental block, she receives a very tempting offer from world champion swimmer and her teammate’s ex, Lukas Blomqvist—to submit to him in the bedroom. Sexual power exchange is something that Scarlett has always craved but never had a chance to fully explore, so when given the opportunity to relinquish control over at least one aspect of her life, strings free, she jumps in wholeheartedly.
It’s just the way I’m wired. It’s written in my neurons, how much I enjoy the strength behind his grip. His size. The ease with which he could overpower me. He could make me do things, and knowing that stokes a hollow ache in my abdomen. But he will not, not unless I give him the go-ahead, and that’s the kind of belly-warming knowledge that makes that ache even sharper.
From their very first tryst, it becomes clear that their every sexual encounter would become a life-changing moment for them both. Knowing that someone else is in charge, that she can fully lean on that person to make decisions for her, even for a brief moment, allows Scarlett to get out of her own head, and to reconnect with herself. And while their sexual dynamic gives Scarlett’s overactive mind the breathing room it needs to slowly regain control of her life, a deep, emotionally intimate, albeit secret, connection between Lukas and Scarlett begins to take root.
“I get to take you apart and split you open—but if anything else, anyone else makes you feel sad, upset, cracked, I also get to be the one who puts you back together.”
As the pressure of competition builds, however, Scarlett’s deep-rooted need to please everyone around her only grows, so when their relationship suddenly comes into the light, emotions run high, threatening to upend everything they’ve found in each other.
“You know it, don’t you?” he asks.
“What?”
“From the very start, you had all the power. From the very start, I was in the palm of your hand.”
By marrying the high-stakes world of competitive sports with the tender exploration of a romance that might stem from an erotic power exchange, but blooms regardless of it, Ali Hazelwood dazzles the reader with yet another perfectly crafted love story that hooks you in from the very first page.
“This is so messy.”
“Falling in love?”
I nod. “And I did it so . . .” Deeply, desperately, fast. It’s just pure violence.
“The ultimate loss of control, huh?”