Books like this one are the reason why I love reading. There is nothing more exhilarating than finding a rare gem of a story that holds you captive from beginning to end, makes you smile so much your jaw hurts by the time you turn that last page, and leaves you so delightfully enthralled by the characters, you wish the story never ended. This book quite simply stole my heart.
Rowen is a young woman desperately in need of a wake-up call in life. For the past five years, she has been spiralling down an angry hole of self-destructive behaviour, rebelling against everything and everyone around her. But behind the provocative black clothes, the dark contact lenses and the black lipstick, hides a broken-hearted young girl whose life has hurt and disappointed her so badly, that she has convinced herself not to expect anything but further pain.
“Instead of trying to get to the bottom of why her daughter was floundering through life, she sent me off to ranch boot camp to “prove” myself worthy of art school.”
After being shipped off by her emotionless mother to a ranch in the middle of nowhere with the directive to prove herself as responsible, hardworking and worthy of trust, Rowen finds herself sticking out like a sore thumb in wholesome countryside Montana. But for the first time in her young life, instead of fingers being pointed at her and being labelled a freak, people are actually taking their time to get to know her and seeing past her appearance. From barely having a parent who never showed her any love to suddenly being part of a large family where small demonstrations of love are a daily occurrence, Rowen is truly out of her element.
“Every morning we get a chance to be different. A chance to change. A chance to be better. Your past is your past. Leave it there. Get on with the future part, honey.”
At this point I think there should be a drumroll or some trumpet playing somewhere because lo and behold, prepare your hearts for the divine Mr Jesse Walker! Jesse is the ranch owner’s son and he is nothing like the guys Rowen is normally attracted to. He is cheerful, positive, affectionate, he pays her compliments and asks nothing in return, and he seems to see the person she so desperately tries to hide. The more she pushes him away, the more he gently pursues her, with nothing more than kindness and understanding. And a heart-melting smile.
“Why don’t you want to know that I like you, Rowen? Why don’t you want me to tell you I’m so damn attracted to you, I almost don’t trust myself to be alone with you like we are right now? Why don’t you want to know that I care about you so much…?”
Once her walls start crumbling and one very delicious cowboy gets under her skin, Rowen begins her journey of self-discovery.
“…when I looked into those eyes of his that saw everything, those eyes that saw me, I knew the fight would be worth it. The struggle to let him in when I wanted to barricade the windows and lower the gates would be a battle I’d never regret fighting.”
What is possibly one of the most enchanting and heart-warming romances I have read in a very long time, this is as much of a love story as it is a beautifully written and flawlessly developed tale of finding oneself and accepting that life is not just a string of negatives. Rowen is a complex character – her past has made her emotionally weary and afraid to let herself accept affection from others. She is hungry for it, starved for even the smallest sliver of unconditional love, but she has also been programmed to believe that she is unworthy of the kind of love Jesse is offering her. She perceives him as a ray of sunshine that her hang-ups would only end up clouding, but she ultimately fights their connection because she sees herself as undeserving to be loved, something her mother had ingrained into her with continuous neglect and grave lack of positive affirmations.
“You think you deserve this. You think you deserve to be alone and suffer. You’ve convinced yourself you’re so worthless that you’ve gone to the extreme to punish yourself. You think you deserve a life of misery.”
We watch the romance between Jesse and Rowen take root, blossom, weather the storms, as this young woman finds herself and learns that every woman deserves to have a ‘Jesse’ in her life. There is something very special in the way Nicole Williams gives her characters ‘life’, it is evident that they come from her heart and she somehow makes us love even the most imperfect of them.
It has been two days since I finished reading this book and my heart is still bursting at the seams!! A stunning book with a positive message – it was just what I needed, it was totally not what I expected, and it was simply perfect.
“We all want to open up to someone, Rowen. The hard part is finding someone we trust enough to open up to. That person we’re not afraid to let into the darkest parts of our world.”
Excerpt
I was supposed to be meeting one of the ranch hands from Willow Springs in the parking lot. I couldn’t remember his name, just that it began with a J and was one hundred and ten percent a cowboy name. I was supposed to link up with some total stranger, a man who worked as a ranch hand, after driving across a couple state lines on a Greyhound bus … and this was the first step towards proving my responsibility to my mother?
Yeah, that was messed up.
Tilting my head back, I searched the sky, half expecting the buzzards to be circling.
Man, even the sky was different here. Too big and too blue. Where I came from, the sky was gray on most days and on the rare day the cloud cover did shift, the sky was never quite blue. Almost like it couldn’t let go of the gray that consumed it more days than not.
I was just about to close my eyes and take a quick siesta and let Mr. Ranch-Hand-With-A-Gritty-Cowboy-Name wait, when a figure passed by me.
On a typical day, I was passed by hundreds, if not thousands of people. Passed by, passed over, passed something … so I don’t know why this particular figure caught my attention, but it did. Leaning up, I shielded my eyes from the sun and watched this “figure” that I couldn’t ignore like I could the others. After a second, I understood why.
The guy was wearing positively the tightest, most painted-on pair of jeans I’d ever seen a guy slide into. And I came from a generation where it was socially acceptable for guys to sport skinny jeans.
However, this cowboy in what I could only assume were a pair of faded Wranglers, had just secured the sash and crown in the Tightest Pants in the Universe title.
“Excuse me, Sir?” Tight pant boy said, tapping the shoulder of the employee I’d snapped at. He waited for the employee to turn around and acknowledge him before continuing.
“Yes,” the employee said, shaking Cowboy’s hand when he extended it.
“Is this the bus that came up from Portland?” Cowboy Tight Pants asked, glancing up at the windows like he was looking for someone.
“Sure is. Last passenger just got off a few minutes ago.”
The cowboy’s back was to me, although his back wasn’t exactly what I zeroed in on. It had nothing to do with ogling, lusting, or wanting to run my hands all over it … I just couldn’t wrap my mind around how those stitches were holding strong with pants that were two sizes too small cupping those butt cheeks.
“Was there a young woman on board? A girl about my age?” cowboy asked.
“There were lots of young women on board, Son,” the employee replied, doing a better job of masking his sarcasm than I would have. “Do you have a description? Maybe a name?”
“I think she’s blonde, maybe strawberry blonde,” he began, tilting his neck to the side. “Petite, I’m guessing … I don’t know. I’ve only seen a picture of her that’s ten years old.”
My stomach fell a little.
“I’ve got her name right here,” the cowboy said, sliding a piece of paper out of his front pocket. I didn’t need to hear him say it, I already knew the name scratched down on that scrap of paper. “Rowen. Her name’s Rowen Sterling.”
My subconscious couldn’t decide what to curse first, so it mixed, matched and uttered a Shuk and a Fuit.
When my mom had told me I’d be getting a ride back to Willow Springs with a ranch hand whose name I’d forgotten, I’d pictured a scratching, spitting, old-timer like the town sheriff in one of those old westerns. Not some young, fit man who adhered to the tighter-the-better policy when it came to jeans selection.
I had yet to see his face, but from what I’d seen of his back, I already knew what to expect. And if I was a typical eighteen-year-old girl who liked the typical teenage girl things, I’m sure I’d be panting for an opportunity to catch a ride with Cowboy Montana in what I guessed was a big diesel truck that had four wheels in the back. I’d heard what those kinds of trucks were called, but couldn’t remember it. Where I came from, people didn’t need six tires when four did the job just fine.
Catching myself right before I let out a long sigh, I stood up and made my way over. No sense in stalling.
Stopping a few feet behind the vacuum-sealed ass, I cleared my throat. “Looking for Rowen Sterling?”
“Yeah,” Cowboy replied, turning my direction. “You know her?”
I gave a shrug. “Kind of.”
“Do you know where she is?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I replied, trying to get a look at his face, but with that huge-ass cowboy hat, combined with the position of the sun in the sky, his whole face was shaded. He could have been the thing of female fantasies. He just as easily could have been eyeless and toothless for all I could tell.
After a few more seconds of quiet, where I guessed he was waiting for me to add something else, he shifted. “Could you tell me where she is then?”
I glanced at the photo in his hand. He’d been right. It was almost ten years old to the day. Taken at my ninth birthday party. I was wearing the biggest, pinkest, most god-awful princess dress to have ever been created and I was blonde and beaming.
I was none of those things anymore. This reaction ought to be fun to witness.
“She’s about two feet in front of you,” I said, now thankful that I couldn’t see his face because whether it was a ten or a zero or somewhere in between, I didn’t want to witness the shock and the cringe that was to come.
When you compared the young girl in the picture to the older girl that was me present day, a cringe seemed to be the standard response.
What I didn’t expect him to do was remove his hat and extend his hand. “Hey, Rowan,” he said, flashing a smile that almost made me flinch. I hadn’t been smiled at like that when meeting a stranger in a long time. “I’m Jesse. It’s nice to meet you.”
Jesse. That’s right. The cowboy J name that had slipped my mind was the name that I was certain I’d never again forget now. Not because his eyes were the same color as the sky, or because his light hair sort-of cascaded down his forehead like it knew just where to fall, or because of the dimples drilled deep into his cheeks from the continued smile. Nope, the reason I’d remember Jesse’s name from this day forward was because of the way he was looking at me. He didn’t study me like I was a freak or something that was different and scary. He looked at me like I was a human being, no different from himself, and yet unique just the same.
It was … staggering. It made me feel all light and floaty, too. For a girl who liked to keep her feet firmly on the ground and who, as a policy, didn’t do “floaty” this whole sensation was a tad overwhelming.
After I’d left his hand hanging in the air like the staggered idiot I was, he dropped it back to his side and lifted his other hand holding the picture towards my face. Studying the picture, then my face, his smile stretched higher. “Yep. You’re Rowan Sterling all right,” he said with certainty. Like he was able to see past my dyed black hair, nose ring, bright lipstick, and my inky black combat boots to find the little girl I’d once been.
108 Comments Hide Comments
I absolutely LOVE Nicole Williasm!! I can’t wait to dive into this one!! Thanks for the awesome review and post!!!
You will love it!!!! xxx
I Can’t wait to read this! awesome review!
Looks like I’m going to have to pick this book up and add it to my growing list! Nicole writes some pretty awesome books! Your review sold me: )
Giveawayyyyy! thanks for the review!!
Can’t wait to read this!! Great review!
I can’t wait to read this! I love Nicole’s books, ‘Up In Flames’ is one of my favourites! So..this must be amazing!
Thanks for amazing review and giveaway! :)
Ooooh, this sounds deelish! I havent read any of her books, but I love coming across new books to read!!!
I love how Nicole writes and how she totally makes you forget you are even reading about fictional characters in a book. I have been waiting for this one, can’t wait to dive in. Great review as always!
Very beautiful post! I love the cover and the story is really good.
Awesome review! As if my TBR needs to get longer, but looks like this one is going to have to shoot straight to the top of it :)
Sounds great, I can’t wait to read
awesome review! just of you post yesterday you made me want to read this! thank you love following you posts on fb and ur email! u rock!
xxxx <3
Sounds great. Love the review.
Great review!! it sounds like a really good book. Thanks for the giveaway!
I love the cover, and this book. it is on my tbr and I can’t wait to read it! :)
Awesome review, cant wait to start this one^^
Great review and now I must read this book that’s so good!
Awesome review Natasha!! Its on my TBR list! Can’t wait to read it. :D Thanks for the giveaway.
Great review, sounds like a great book. I also live in the Spokane area.
Two new books in less than two weeks. I don’t know how she does it, but I’m thankful that she does!
Cannot wait to read it! I LOVE Nicole Williams :)
Ps: great review!
This isn’t even really my type of book usually, but your review makes me want to rush out and read it right now!
I can’t wait to read this – I love Nicole’s books!
What an amazing review. I cannot wait to read this book now. I mean I love Nicole Williams so I have no doubt this will be good but your review sealed it.
Agree…cover is awesome!! Sounds like a great read, can’t wait & thanks for the chance to enter the giveaway!! =)
Hi Natasha! Thanks so much for this giveaway!! Nicole Williams and your blog NEVER disappoints… they are fantastic
this book sounds really good and it is a great review. thanks for the giveaway
I really loved Nicole’s Crash trilogy, so I’m really excited to read this one as well. And judging solely on cover and a review, I’m pretty sure I’m gonna love it. Thanks for a giveaway!
I’m always looking for new books, this one is definitely being added to my TBR list!
Thanks for the review!
Great review, and great quotes! I can’t wait to read this! (:
Wonderful review! This book sounds like a good one and look forward to reading it soon :)
Added to my TBR list. Awesome giveaway!!!
I want to read it!! Thanks for the review.
Looks like a great book! Thanks for the giveaway. Can’t wait to read.
I’m so excited to read this! Loved the Crash series! Appreciate your thoughts! Thanks!
I love your reviews. They always make me want to read the book weather it sounds good to me or not. Your reviews are just always so well written. This book does sound really good though. looking forward to reading it.
Found this book on goodreads and I can’t wait to read it :)
Nicole Williams book? I’m in! Thank you for the giveaway :)
Reading the synopsis, it sounds like a great book, after reading the review it is a definite must read, I can’t turn down a book with a positive message!
Natasha, You have never steered me wrong with you reviews and recommendations. So, You giving this book 5 Stars means that I will absolutely, without a doubt, LOVE IT!! To add to that, Nicole Williams is an amazing writer… I love her writing style.
I can’t wait to read it and possibly win it in paperback! I do love a good paperback!!
I had this book on my TBR and can’t wait to tackle it!!
Great review!!! I can’t wait to read this now :)
i cannot wait to read this!great review
Thanks for the wonderful review. I like the insight that you give that makes you really want to read this book. Now I can’t wait!
Cant wait to read this book!
Oh. This book looks great!! I’ve never read her books before
Great Giveaway and Review!
Love me some boys in cowboy boots and hats!
So excited to read this!
Awesome giveaway!!
awesome review cant wait to read the book, thank you for the giveaway!!!
Yep added to my TBR list; thanks as always for your reviews Natasha and a banging giveaway :D
Starting reading it last night! Thanks for the giveaway.
This looks like a must read!
Looks like a great book! Can’t wait to read this!!!
I’d love to read this!
Can’t wait for this one!!
Thanks for the giveaway! I’m excited about this book!
Can’t wait to read it !
Haven’t heard of it, but it looks like a good read
LOVE your review! Thank you for the chance to win a wonderful giveaway!
Love this review and makes me that much more excited to read the book!
You were right Natasha (once again!). This book was amazing. Such a great story, loved it.
I’m looking forward to reading this!
Nicole Williams is fast becoming one of my favourite authors.
Great review, thanks!
Awesome giveaway
I love Nicole’s books! The Crash series was amazing and I have no doubt Lost && Found will be just as awesome!
Can’t wait to read this book!!
I can’t wait to read this one! Thank you for the giveaway Natasha :)
I cannot wait to read this, sounds amazing!!!
Awesome giveaway and would LOVE to read this amazing book!
Sounds like a great book!! Thanks for the giveaway!!
this book sounds pretty interesting. Thanks for the giveaway.
Loved the review can’t wait to read this book!!
Looking forward to reading this!! Thanks for always keeping us up-to-date on the hottest tickets in town!!
I love Nicole Williams. Can’t wait to read this.
So excited to read this book!!!
Thanks for the giveaway! I’m adding lost and found to my to read list :)
what an amazing review! I can NOT wait to get my grabby hands on this baby! thank you for the chance! this is an awesome giveaway!
I can’t wait to read this book!!! Awesome review.
It seems like you and I have similar tastes, based on past reviews you’ve done! So, even if I don’t win, I plan on purchasing this book on kindle. It definitely seems like my kind of read!
Thanks for the review! I love Nicole Williams and can’t wait to read this one!
Awesome giveaway, love the cover!!
Great review! Thanks for the giveaway!
Can’t wait to read this! Thank you!
Can’t wait to read this!!
Definitely going on my TBR list! Thanks for the chance to win a copy!
This sounds really good, right up my alley. However, my daughter’s name is Rowan and I have yet to read a book where that is the name of the romantic lead…not sure how I feel about sex scenes with a Rowan! lol I’ll read it anyway! :D
Thanks for hosting this great giveaway. I am so looking forward to reading this book!
I love Nicole Williams books….I can’t wait to read this one. Thanks for the giveaway:)
Love the reveiw. cant wait to read the book.
I REALLY want to read this! Nicole Williams, is an awesome writer! :)
Looking forward to reading this one. Nicole Williams is an awesome writer! Great giveaway.
Great review! I’m looking forward to reading this. Can’t wait to find more about the characters.
Amazing review! I have this one on my tbr already!!!
Great Review- This is going to be my next read after seeing all your comments and reading the blurb this books sounds amazing
Cant wait to read the book…great review!!
Can’t wait to read this one! I loved her books! Thanks for the giveaway!
I can’t wait to read this book!! :) it looks really good and I look forward to reading it and then rereading it lol
Thanks for the giveaway!
Can’t wait to check this out! Thank you
The cover for this is awesome!
i love nichole williams book and so look forward to read this one!
This sounds like a wonderful book. I can’t wait to read it. I really love the cover. Thank you for the review and giveaway.
I absolutely loved this book! Hope another story comes along for when Rowen comes back from school. Will there be a book 2?