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Kitty was not only beautiful but also incredibly intelligent—except when it came to relationships. It seemed if a guy was a loser, corrupt, deadbeat or unavailable, she was completely and utterly attracted to him. She definitely had a “type,” and all of them had been one bad decision after another.

Dallas had trouble of his own. Finding women wasn’t a problem—he could charm the pants off almost anyone—but most of those “pantless” women ended up being a few bananas short of a fruit basket. Not always the best candidates for his sex-without-strings philosophy. He was one date away from ending up a 60 Minutes special.

While both of them were at the top of their game professionally—she a high-powered executive assistant, and he one of the best tattooists in the city—their personal lives had become a dumpster fire.

No one in their right mind would have suggested they join forces to help each other wade through the crazy. Surely that was a recipe for disaster? But without reason, logic or even sanity on their side, they decided to do it anyway.

It was a hot mess primed for a head-on collision.


T. Gephart

7 February 2019

Book Series: 

It didn’t seem like there was anyone on the planet more relationship inept than Kitty and Dallas. Both of them were doing great professionally, but their personal lives were a disaster. Which was why them joining forces to “help” each other was more than just a bad idea. Between the two of them, no one had a clue. It was a hot mess primed for a head-on collision…

T. Gephart’s latest lough-out-loud Romantic Comedy is coming this week, and I have an AWESOME sneak peek for you.

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Dallas grinned. “Now, tell me the story.”

I let out a sigh, figuring it was probably easier just to tell him. After all, if there was one person in the world who wouldn’t judge me, it was the guy standing in front of me. Besides, he’d brought me dessert and we’d already established that I loved midnight snacking. I figured it was the least I could do.

“I was doing this online quiz and read a lot about bondage and how it heightens sexual arousal.” I opened the two pie boxes sitting on my counter.

Dallas nodded, listening intently as I transferred the pie to plates and then put them into the microwave to warm. “I’d have gone with rope, but continue.”

“So . . . I wanted to know what being cuffed felt like before I tried it with someone. I’m all for some excitement in the bedroom, and will try anything once, but handcuffs are a big commitment.”

To be honest, there wasn’t anyone in particular I had in mind when I purchased them off a website. As far as boyfriends went, I was in-between bad decisions so was enjoying some time of self-exploration. And I was a curious person by nature.

“Makes total sense.” Dallas watched as I pulled the pies out of the microwave and scooped on the ice cream. “In fact, more women should try stuff out. Then you know exactly what you like and what you don’t like.”

“See, I knew you’d understand.” I smiled, licking the ice cream off my spoon.

While most guys would have questioned the sanity of restraining myself, Dallas just got it. It was one of the things—besides his extremely hot body—that attracted me to him in the first place. It was also why we were still friends even after we’d had sex. There weren’t too many men I kept around after we’d sealed the deal, probably best for everyone involved too considering most ended up being degenerates.

“Of course I do. Got anything else you’re curious about?” He smiled, his eyes dropping down to my boobs.

It didn’t matter that I was wearing a T-shirt, and probably the most boring pair of leggings I had in my wardrobe, Dallas’s eyes were always on a discovery mission.

I shoved him playfully and laughed. “You’re such a perv.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” he countered, carrying our pies to my kitchen table.

It wasn’t how I thought I’d be spending my night but as far as backup plans, it was a pretty decent one. And it sure as hell beat being shackled to my headboard; those handcuffs were definitely not my thing.

“Enough about me.” I took a spoonful of pie and brought it closer to my mouth. “What were you doing that required Josh’s assistance?”

Even though it was only a Wednesday night, I could almost guarantee Dallas had been involved in some kind of crazy antic. Because, for all the bad decisions I had made, he had a stack of his own from what I’d heard.

“I was with a woman, things got complicated,” he answered, not even trying to hide the fact he’d been on a date.

I savored the pie, the spice of the apple and creaminess of the vanilla inducing a pleasured moan. “This is soooooo good.” I loaded up my spoon before continuing my questioning. “What got so complicated? It was just sex, right?”

It was probably none of my business, but I was curious. As someone who had slept with Dallas, there wasn’t a lot to be confused about. He had an ego on him sure, but he knew what he was doing when it came to pleasing a woman.

Dallas stopped, his spoon halfway to his mouth. “Are we allowed to talk about this?” he asked, cautiously looking around the room like someone was going to burst in at any moment.

“What do you mean?” I leaned in closer, wondering if he knew something I didn’t. I was well aware that my iPhone microphone was being misused, targeted ads showing up in my web searches after only a casual mention. But I didn’t think I was important enough for full-scale surveillance.

His voice dropped to a whisper, his face turning serious. “I don’t think I’m supposed to be talking to you about other women.”

I started to laugh, throwing my head back as the sound bubbled up my throat. “Oh my God.” My hand clasped against my chest in relief. “I thought you meant my place was bugged or something like that. Phew! Of course you are allowed to talk to me about other women. Why the hell wouldn’t you be?”

“Because . . .” He paused, looking like a deer in headlights as he gestured to me. “You’re a woman.”

I laughed again, his expression so adorable I couldn’t help it. “Ahhh, yeah I am, thanks for noticing. Which makes me the perfect person to speak to.”

“I don’t know.” He rubbed his neck nervously, hesitating. “Something about this feels . . . like a bad idea.”

“Trust me, we’re good. Talk,” I prompted. I knew bad ideas, and talking to Dallas about some girl he’d been with didn’t seem to fit the brief.

He blew out a breath, looking around cautiously again. “Fine, but I want you to remember that I was trying to be a gentleman.”

“Noted.” I nodded, returning my attention to my pie. “Now, tell me what happened.”

He raised his head, leveling me with a stare. “She cried.”


“Like really crying,” he emphasized. “Not the kind from when you come hard either, because I’ve seen that. I’m talking like someone died kind of tears.”

I shook my head, not any more enlightened with the clarification. And as much as I hated to ask, I did anyway. “Did you hurt her?”

“No!” he shot back almost immediately. “It was completely consensual and not even that interesting. I mean, I made sure she got off before I did, but that was it.”

There usually were two kinds of tears during consensual sex.

Good ones, when it felt oooh sooooo good.

And bad ones, when the guy you were with either didn’t know what he was doing or was trying to jam something in without proper preparation.

I’d experienced both and knew the difference. And boy, was there a difference.

Having first-hand knowledge that Dallas absolutely knew what he was doing; his account of the tears was perplexing.

“Was she wet?”

He snorted. “Of course she was, she was the Hoover Dam down there. That was so not the issue.” He stopped, leaning in closer as his eyes widened. “She said she was a virgin.” The word said so cautiously it was as if he’d discovered a unicorn.

I bit the inside of my cheek, trying not to laugh.

I really, really tried.

But I couldn’t resist.

My mouth opened to talk and a giggle escaped before I could stop it.

“Don’t laugh, this is serious. Between the crying and taking her virginity, I was starting to freak the hell out. I know it was good for her, but I’m not exactly small . . . maybe I was too much for her to take for her first time.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh. It’s not funny.” I tried to contain my laughter, not wanting to hurt his feelings. “Let’s back up here for a second. Did she feel like a virgin?”

“Fuck, are you sure we’re supposed to be talking about this? This isn’t some kind of test and then you yell at me for doing something I shouldn’t have.” His brow rose with suspicion.

“Okay.” I set aside my plate, the pie all but forgotten given our current dilemma. “You are not bragging about it like it is some conquest, we’re trying to work out where things went wrong. Trouble shooting. Like when you get the blue screen of death on your computer.”

Besides, I wasn’t jealous. I’d already been there and done that. And while our night together had been A-mazing, that’s all it was. A one-time deal. Dallas and I were friends now; sure we flirted a little, but friends nonetheless. And I liked helping my friends.

“So tell me, did she feel like a virgin?” I repeated the question, trying to sound as clinical as I could.

He shrugged as if weighing his reply. “She was tight but I didn’t feel like my dick was in a vice if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Come on, Dallas. You have to know that is not a sign of a virgin.” I rolled my eyes. “Did she seem like she knew what she was doing? Or was she uncoordinated and awkward?”

His hand scrubbed his face in frustration like he wasn’t sure if he should answer. “I didn’t think so. She sucked my dick like a champ.”

“Then I’m going to go out on a limb and say chances are she’s done it before.”

He screwed up his face in horror, like the thought hadn’t even occurred to him. “So she was lying?”

“Dallas,” I crooned, the smile automatic. “Surely you’ve been lied to before? Especially in bed.”

As much as I hated to admit it, lying during sex was often necessary. Sometimes for your own sanity, and sometimes because you didn’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings. But always as a means to an end.

If he’d looked horrified before, he’d reached a new level of disbelief. He shook his head, the conviction ringing in his voice. “No, they don’t. Not with me.”

He was so adorable, almost innocent in his naivety.

Oh Dallas, I’ve never seen anything that huge.” I brought my hand to my mouth feigning shock. “Baby, no man has ever made me feel like that. I think I might actually die.” My voice was breathy, my hand sliding down my throat. “I’m coming, baby. Oh. My. God. I’m going to explode. Hold me, I just can’t take it anymore.”

“What the fuck?” He rose out of his chair, shuffling back. “Are you telling me you did that to me?”

I shook my head, reaching out for him. “Me? God, no. Any screams you got from me were well earned, but I have in the past with other guys. Babe, trust me. If she wasn’t hurt and they weren’t tears of ecstasy, then she was probably feeding you a line. Maybe she was hoping to guilt you into a relationship or get you to spend the night? We aren’t frail creatures like some people might have you think.”

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