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I loved a boy.

Gavin Lodge.

He was sweet, gentle, kind and he made me feel alive.

Letting him go was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life.

A hundred times I wished I had done things differently.

A thousand times I wished I had gone with him.

A million times I wished he had chosen me.

I didn’t. Neither did he.

Now he’s back.

No longer a boy, but a man.

I can’t love him.

It almost destroyed me once and I won’t let that happen again.

That should be the end of it.

And maybe it would have been…

If someone wasn’t trying to kill me.


Jordan Marie


Book Series: 

The second book in Jordan Marie’s Stone Lake series is out this week, and I have an excerpt for you. This book concludes Gavin and Luna’s story. Get ready for some major twists and turns!

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“Gavin, wake up. You have to get out of here. They want the room.”


My voice sounds wrong. My throat is scratchy. It’s hard to talk and it feels like my head is drifting in a fog. When I hear Luna’s voice, I do my best to pull away from it, my eyes opening slowly. I blink as she begins to come into focus. She’s leaning over me, her hair spilling down around her face, her lips glossy and red, her hazel eyes dark with the green shining through the sea of brown just enough to entrance me.

“Get up, Gavin,” she urges, trying to pull back.

My hand snakes around the side of her neck, tugging her back down. I’ve had this dream a million times over the years and I’m tired of it always fading away. My lips crash into hers, and when I find my opening, I slide my tongue inside her mouth. I groan as the taste of her hits me. It’s been so long, but I swear to fucking God I remember everything about her. The sweetness, the innocence, the earthy forbidden flavor that even till this day is what I think of when I think of sex, it’s all right there.

And it’s delicious.

I deepen the kiss, grateful as hell that for once that I’m not waking up, that Luna is not fading away with the last remnants of sleep. If this is what drinking does for you, I’ll stay fucking drunk for the rest of my life.

I deepen the kiss. I can feel her try and pull away, and I increase the strength of my hold, unwilling to let her slip away this time.

She stiffens against me, which is new. Always before she gives in so sweetly my balls ache. Then again, our kiss has never lasted this long—been this sweet. I plunder her mouth, memorizing everything about her in case this is the last time—in case the dream never happens again. Her nails bite into my skin, the sensation so real I can literally feel it. I growl in her mouth, hungrily nipping at her lips.

Pain lances through my balls and I jerk, letting Luna go as my hands go to my groin. Then, a hand slaps hard against the side of my face, dragging me out of my drunken haze.

“What in the hell do you think you’re doing?” Luna yells. Her hair is mussed, her lips swollen, her face flushed, and she’s mad as hell but looking sexy.

I’m in pain, piecing together that this Luna is real and that she not only slapped me that she apparently kneed me in the balls. She’s gorgeous and even in pain, I’ve decided that kissing her was fucking worth it.

“Probably the first smart thing I’ve done in over thirteen years,” I grumble. I sit up in bed, the world shifting around me, as a wave of dizziness hits me. I hold my head down between my legs to try and stave it off. I’d hate to ruin a damn good kiss with up-chucking on her fancy shoes. I focus on her shoes. High heels, a soft pink in color, they are open-toed, and her toes peek out with nails adorned in a similar color. Memories flash through my mind of the conversations we had when we were younger while she painted her nails. Fuck, I’m not ashamed to admit, sometimes I clumsily painted them for her.

How in the hell did two people who loved each other so much end up here?

“Are you even listening to me, Gavin?” I hadn’t been. There’s no point in lying to her.

“What’d you say?” I ask, dragging my gaze back to her face.

“You had no right to kiss me. Don’t let that happen anymore. I’m not standing in for whatever woman you had last night. We’re not going there. I have a good man in my life right now, and I am not letting you mess it up for me,” she huffs.

Looking at her I rub my hand against my chest, my heart hurting. What would my life had been like if I hadn’t walked away from her?

God, what would be different now, if I had stayed?


“Where am I dropping you off?” I ask, my voice tight. It took me over an hour to get Gavin out of that damn room. An hour that I didn’t want to be there and an hour where I should have just walked away and didn’t.

I’m disappointed in myself. I’m also mad.

I’m mad at him for kissing me. I’m mad at myself for giving in—even if just for a minute. I’m mad I even came to get him. The list of things I’m upset about is so long that there’s no way to pinpoint each individual one.

“My rental is at the bar,” he says, looking out the side window. His scruff is overly long, and he keeps rubbing his hand against it. He was always clean shaven before, this new look on him is different, but it definitely looks good.

Not that I should be noticing that.

I shouldn’t be noticing anything about Gavin Lodge. I can’t believe I gave into his kiss. I’m disgusted with myself, and I feel guilty. I should probably tell Ben what happened. Shouldn’t I? I shut it down, so it’s not like anything truly happened. Other than my mind being thrown in complete chaos, I mean.

“If I drop you off at the bar are you going to get drunk again?” I mutter snidely. I hit my turn signal to indicate what direction I’m going and then when the road is clear, I turn onto the main road.

“I’m not exactly sober now,” he says quietly.

“I gathered that when you kissed me.”

“I don’t have to be drunk to want to kiss you, Luna. Don’t mistake the truth in that.” “You shouldn’t kiss me, Gavin. Whether you’re drunk or not.”

“Maybe I should have kissed you more.”

“What did you just say?”

“Never mind, Luna. Just take me to my car.”

“Are you mentally unstable? Deranged? Of course you shouldn’t kiss me more. Jesus, Gavin, what has gotten into you?” I snap, slapping my hand against my steering wheel. “And you shouldn’t be drinking. You’re supposed to be looking for a killer, not partying.”

“You’re not my mother, Luna. I know I shouldn’t be getting drunk. I was kind of thrown for a loop yesterday,” he mumbles.

“I know I’m not your mother, Gavin. I’m nothing to you anymore and haven’t been for a long time, but I am the mother of your son,” I growl. “And, I don’t particularly want him to hear the town talking about his father getting drunk and whoring around with the bartender.”

“Jealous?” he quips, and I can feel his gaze on me.

I’ve just pulled into the parking lot of the bar. It’s empty except for Elaine’s vehicle and Gavin’s rental. At his question, I slam my brakes, causing the vehicle to lurch into the gravel and our bodies to sling forward from the suddenness of the movement.

“Get out,” I order, not looking at him, my fingers so tight on the steering wheel that it’s painful.

“Luna, I’m sorry. Christ, you don’t understand—”

“Get the hell out of my car, Gavin.”

The silence between us is tense, and I’m afraid he’s going to speak again. I honestly don’t know what I’d say to him. I want to kill him for even insinuating that I’d be jealous, and I ignore the small voice that says I might actually be.

He releases a loud breath. Then opens the door. I’m not sure I breathe until he slams it shut and I’m safely in my vehicle while he’s outside, not breathing the same air that I am. I sit there as he crawls in his vehicle and pulls out of the parking lot. When my heart slows down enough that I can breathe without pain, I leave the bar in my rearview mirror—all while cursing the day I agreed to dance with Gavin Lodge. I should have kept him out of my life the first time and then maybe it wouldn’t be so painful around him now…

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